Sunday, November 19, 2006

Stand firm, America!

I am greatly saddened by so many of our countrymen failing in their faith in my great friend, George W. Bush. We must stand firm and support his One Last Push in the War Against Iraq. Only we can bring good cheer and democracy to this poor country, crushed under the tyranny of the Mohammedans.

I am able to reveal to you his Great Plan. When we have crushed the resistance and brought happiness to this country, the former Babylon, he will put it under the benign control of our great friend and alley, Israel. That's why he got them to pull out of that useless, withered strip of land called Gaza, so as soon as Iraq learns discipline there will be thousands of Settlers ready to bring civilization to them.

We must not flinch! A duty of my followers is to write to our soldiers every day to let them know there are folks back home praying for them.


My last Website was closed down because some ignorant fools didn't understand my attitudes for disciplining children, particularly teenagers. Here are some simple rules, which if followed, will benefit the Nation.
- punish your child every day, even though they may not have done anything wrong, at a set time
- it is not necessary to use a stick, but if you prefer, a humble Garden Cane will suffice
- if you punish someone else's child, their father may turn violent. It is essential that you have a gun in your home
- the most difficult problem you can face would be if your child appears to become "aroused" by physical punishment. In such cases use Guilt and Shame to your advantage. My beloved late son, Watson, was such a case. I cured him by marching him to High School totally naked one day. He was never able to live down the taunts of his classmates.

Some fools have accused me of Charlatanism, but let me tell you, I learned my lessons well in that Vietnamese POW camp. My captors were psychologists and disciplinarians of the highest order and I learned to fear and respect them, even though they were Godless Communists.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

In memory of Francine

My beautiful wife Francine before our tragic accident.

Hi everyone

My name's Howard Rope and I bring messages of good cheer over the Interweb.

I run the International Good Cheer Ministry, an organization of 40,000 courageous volunteers. We look to bring happiness and ethics to all mankind.

Cheerfulness is next to Godliness!

Spank teenagers to safeguard family values!

Always remember Matthew 11:16!